Night Terrors

Those that know me are aware of my sleeping affliction. I talk about it a lot, maybe to find kindred spirits. Possibly just to talk about it in the hopes that it will one day end. I have written about the sleepwalking before, but that is only one aspect of my nighttime horrors.

Recently I was extremely tired and bedded myself at the old man time of 8:30pm. Rest came and rest left. I awoke at 11:00pm thinking it was 11:00am. I found myself standing in the kitchen looking out the window at the sheer blackness of night. Limbs shaking, I peered into the sky wanting to see the sun. I had surmised that the world had truly ended. Everyone was gone and somehow I was left. Still shivering, I thought it was interesting that all the cars were left in the parking lot. Sure, angels and spirits have wings, but why not cars, too? Ten minutes in I looked at the clock again. It was PM. I awoke in the middle of REM and was merely sleepwalking again.

It started at an early age. My parents told me about talking and walking in my sleep as a child. Past girlfriends have shared some interesting stories as well. Pushing them out of bed. Me talking with eyes wide open. I, of course, have no recollection. It is sometimes good for a laugh (I once told an ex that, “Instead of milk I chose juice. It’s true.”) but for the most part it leaves me tired and worried. And I don’t worry.

A few nights ago I was awoken by a cloaked figure standing over me. No face and no voice, but yet still said, “Stop talking shit about me.” As my body was still in REM, I couldn’t move. My face was awake, though, and all I could do was stare straight upwards and, again, shiver. (It’s amazing how I can shimmy and shake, like I’m at a damn sock hop, but can’t fully realize hallucinations, or control my motions.) Eventually, the hooded figure disappeared and all I had left was a sweaty body and a sleeping dog next to me.

Now in my waking time post-terror I have nothing but thoughts racing. They vary from the preceding dreams/scenerios to general worry, both being un-useful in returning to slumber. Seeing as how slumber is rarely relaxing, maybe this is a defense mechanism. Of course I always return to sleep, sometimes for the entirety of the night, sometimes not.

I am merely hoping that putting it on e-paper will help calm my mind.


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