Prescription For a Hard Days Work.

1. Buy a six pack of beer.

Grab one and hold it. A relaxing one. A liberating one. That one. Listen to the Pssssssssst! and know that the day is over. That first sip. The night is here. And it is time to take it back. Let the first sip wet your lips in a satisfying gurgle and know that everyone else is dead at that slurp. Close your eyes. Relish it. This time will not come again. This feeling will not be reproduced with the second beer, no matter how hard you try. Swim in it.

2. Draw a Bath.

Turn on the water. Feel it with your hand (but keep in mind that your hand is less sensitive than the rest of your oh so sensitive body). Sip the beer and watch the tub fill halfway. Remove clothing and step in. Your ankles feel the warmth and you close your eyes again in complete relaxation. Lower the rest of your body into the closest thing you will ever get to the womb. After placing both buttocks on the bottom of the tub, remain there for a few seconds to acclimate the body to the increased environmental temperature. Lay back. Immerse your head and face (the water will cool your sweat glands), take another swig, and think think think. It is all uphill until you realize that the water has turned cold as fuck.

3. Go to a Metal Show.

If you are in a place worth living, there will be one going on in an agreeable radius. You’re clean, relaxed, and ready to take on the night. What a better way than witnessing those that own it? Grab a beer. (It won’t be as rewarding as the first. Maybe a shot of whiskey could make it special again.) Yawn through the opening bands and see the pinnacle of the night. Hover in the riff. Make love to the blinding noise. Yawn your way home and remember why you didn’t kill yourself when you were twenty.


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