Another Weekend, Another…Music Festival?

Its just too easy. When you leave work at 2:30pm and have a VIP pass in your pocket, why not go to Lollapolooza for the afternoon? After all, with this pass one has free booze, free food, and wonderful views of the shows.

Wonderful views meaning raised platforms on the sides of the stage away from the young, drunk, chatty teens. Instead it is old, drunk, chatty fucks trying to sell you something or to check out this one band. A festival like this is almost 180 degrees from a win-win.

Arriving at 3:00pm, I was welcomed by a teenager vomiting in the trash can. I smiled and made my way to the “Lolla Lounge”. My choices? Bud. Bud Light. Bud Select. Wow. VIP. Bud now and Bud all night. King me, fuckers.

I wandered, I drank. I snuck Johnny into the VIP and shielded him from onlooking security. He went to the bathroom, never to return. “I got kicked out,” was texted to me. He went home and I enjoyed the Queens of the Stone Age from my perch above more people than lived in the town that I was raised.*

Hey, there’s that dude from said band with his kids. Hey, there’s a photoshoot. Hey, there’s fucking blah blah blah.

On the pamphlet reads something about Lollapalooza being “all about art”. Nope. Art happened, yes, but it was in the bottom of the trash can. That teenager puked all over it. Now it smells like shrooms and Bud Select.

What seemed like hours passed and I retired to the lounge. Couches, lights, huge televisions. “I want to go home.”

Thanks for the VIP and the free swill and the air-conditioned bathroom and the golf cart rides to each stage and the opportunity to make fun of people. Thanks for the memories and the knowledge that anything “delivered by AT&T” will be sent back promptly.

Mister Buckets – 1.
Lollapalooza – 0.

*Queens of the Stone Age were fantastic and no blame should be put on them for such a forgettable event. Others that shall not be blamed are the Flaming Lips, Andrew Bird, Assasains, and that one poet that introduces nearly every rock show in Chicago.

One Response to “Another Weekend, Another…Music Festival?”
  1. kate says:

    i do hope that by “that one poet” you mean thax douglas. that guy is not only awesome but also on myspace. 😦

    i’m moving to baltimore in two weeks. and i love you.

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