Currently, the Humidity is 50%. Danger is at a Stifling 98%.

9:30am I felt wonderful.

11:00am I felt horrible.

Eventually I found myself on Amber’s porch. She hadn’t returned home from work yet. I brought a few beers and a guitar so I sat and relaxed. I wasn’t about to pass that fucking dog again.

I had attempted to cross the yard and ascend three floors of rickety stairs. Selena, the hound, wouldn’t let me. I admit…I got scared. Fucker reminded me of the cover of the novel White Fang I had as a child. I can stay at home.

I got bored so I went through again. This time she remained on her haunches. Eyeing me with fucking night huunting eyes. Good god.

If it chrages I’m gonna sock it right in the nose. “Dog’s blood. It’s just dog’s blood,” Royal Tenenbaum said once.

Amber came home. She let me in. We watched Nilsson videos. William came home. We talked and I went outside to smoke. I realized that I needed to get home right away. I don’t know why. I thought I had a good idea but, always, three steps into it it’s gone.

Or two flights. Precious Selena.

I was thinking about my IDEA and then I suddenly remembered…that gigantic cobweb. If it went through a loose, beer-drinking bar girl’s nipple, it would look like the picture. But it wasn’t. It hangs between two handrails and a support beam across the staircase. It is an immense cobweb. The spider sits in the middle and watches you with eight eyes.

I wondered what it was like to be a bug. A lightning bug. Harmless. Sticking to a rope of glue. Leg after leg ponding closer. All holding up this island of death.

It would be like sharpened car bumpers, fashioned as needles, taking everything from you.

Claws against wood. Image gone. Selena’s charging.

Angry dogs are the only thing scarier than giant spiders. Maybe because they’re real.

I backed up against the wooden beam, spider be damned, and stared at her in the eyes. I was ready to break her nose.

And then I figured that it was better to just walk away. “You don’t want to explain the scratches and bite marks. It would be a tiresome story,” I told myself. I left.

Next time that bitch Selena is gonna get it Last Song on Use Your Illusion I style.

I’m gonna put that bitch in a coma.


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