Remember When I Had a Thousand Apologies?
Well, it still remains as such. There will be no updates anytime soon. Chode School has gone to bed for the time being, as has my freelance writing.
Why?
While answering the emails I could get to in the time frame of a grande coffee from that place we all know, I was also working on some writing and uploads for the site (slow internet is better than none). In the cool 75 degree weather, small, cowardly hands grabbed the screen of my computer and ran. I looked up to see two shit-headed teens running with my life in their hands. I chased them for two blocks until they split.
If there was a term I could use for separating a single asshole I would say it here.
CANCER. Said it.
Needless to say I didn’t catch them. I was was CATCHING UP TO THEM but the fucking worms ended up getting away by, as I said, splitting up. Defeated and panting and innocent, I threw my hands in the air.
On the walk back I called 911 and explained the situation between breaths. Upon arrival at the crime scene there were three lovely ladies all simultaneously saying, “OHMYGODWHATHAPPENED?!”
“They stole my computer. I didn’t run fast enough.”
“She said that you were running faster than anyone that she’s seen. We stayed here to make sure your bag wasn’t stolen.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.”
I didn’t have the brain capacity to ask them if they could remember what they were wearing. Cause I sure as hell didn’t.
They left. I stayed and waited for the cops. Nicest cops I’ve encountered.
After an initial lead, the “case” has dried up. The kids they caught looked nothing like the fucking asses that stole the past four years from me.
Let’s just say it is a good thing for those kids because I am not in a good mood. Not at all.
Not. at. fucking. all.
No picture. Not at all. I am mad.
STOMPING TO BED.
Fucking fuckers!