Frugal Joe’s Ordinary Beer

As the name clearly states, this is ordinary beer…at its finest, though. For about $5.00 a six pack you can have cheap, digestible brew for football, movies, board games, or whatever the hell you do when you drink beer.

A clean, non-descript first sip opens up to an even-tempered taste and absolutely no finish whatsoever. Usually, I would frown at such a boring beverage, but with the simplistic (almost to the point of annoyance) label it gives the consumer a fair enough warning. I wasn’t expecting much else. Beers in this price range from the big breweries usually remind me of camping in high school. Cheap cigars, cheap beer, and nothing much else. Shitty hangovers and soiled underpants.

Pair it with pizza, snacks, or anything else tasty that won’t be overshadowed by a hoppy, energetic brew.

Now you can bring Grandpa Eddie a six pack at Thanksgiving and not worry about him calling you a “damned queer”.

Style: Lager

Score: B-

Goods: Drinkable, crowd-pleaser

Bads: Hard to find, unexciting

Saison Dupont

Lauded by more than a few as one of the best beers in the world, this farmhouse ale (named for the fact that it is brewed in a farmhouse) is a beast with the softest fur.

One of the first things you notice is the foggy appearance. That’s unfiltered yeast, my friend. It’s conditioning in there. What good is that? Well, it gives it the crispest, cleanest flavor. It also means that you can age it. That’s right, wino, throw it in your cellar and open the bastard in twenty years. Supposedly the profile will change dramatically the longer you keep it. Due to the fact that I don’t have a cellar nor the patience to keep a bottle on hand for more than twelve minutes, I’ve only tried it when it was a baby.

The first taste is crisp, followed closely by a fruity bouquet that continues even after you swallow. Hints of berries and citrus mingle with the finish – a quick, pleasant lingering that disappears in seconds. It will then sit in your belly, redden your cheeks, and make you smile for quite a while.

This is a beer to enjoy with conversation, without conversation, in public, at home, anywhere and everywhere. Enjoy it with a meal, a book, or a movie. The important thing to remember here is just enjoy it.

Style: Ale

Score: A

Goods: A profile so complex, it’s easy to enjoy. Fucking amazing in nearly every aspect.

Bads: Price ($8.00 per 750 mL bottle), limited availability (summer is easiest, though still difficult).